Got a toothbrush?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
