whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
