some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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