id be glad to
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
