I skipped work to stalk him.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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