Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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