He is an equal opportunity slut.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
