How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
what day is it and did you see me today?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
