I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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