I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Farmville is her only friend.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
