I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
