he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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