She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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