Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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