Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
