Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
porn star boner night. come get it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
