She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
