You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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