Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
