im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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