Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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