i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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