just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
