Grow some girl-balls and come out already
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I could fuck to npr.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
