I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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