Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
