i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
