That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
