Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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