OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
