i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
