I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
