So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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