brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
