i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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