He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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