So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
