awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize