why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
