Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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