did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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