Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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