Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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