OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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