Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
