I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
