Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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