is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
