come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
