My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
