also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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